Have No Regrets

The homepage of johnlewis.ca contains a challenging question that I heard a friend share from stage a few years ago…“In what life are you planning to sell out for what you believe?”  The following true story confirms the urgency of living our lives by that statement.

Many thanks to my friend Krista for allowing me to share this with all of you.  May you find the courage to live each day with no regret.

Ben and I are saddened by the loss of a friend. A woman who served the community tirelessly in her own creative way. She recently won awards for being the best designer in her industry in the world. I’ve had the privilege of knowing her throughout our high-school years together. We were re connected after I found myself going thru a troubling divorce. Having been there herself she offered me an apartment above her store. She empathized with my struggles to raise small children on my own. Through the last 6 years I’ve rented 5 out of those 6 years from her. She always seemed so strong and together.

I can tell you she has been on my list to contact that entire time.

I’ve watched her become what most people would view as super successful. She appeared to “have it all together”. To be honest I was a little intimidated to show her this business for 2 reasons. #1. She was busy 24/7 and we saw that first hand. I felt like I just knew she would tell me “ain’t nobody got time for dat”. #2. I was afraid because she was my landlord, if she didn’t like what she saw she held the key to my secure little nesty apartment. A few weeks ago our family moved to a house in a nearby town. We were excited to finally have a home with a yard. The last and final day I spoke to her was the day we cleaned and locked the apartment for the final time. She was now struggling through some of her own issues. The women who appeared to the rest of the world to have it all together was hurting. We talked for a while and she seemed ashamed to tell me she was broke. She could barely feed her kids and her house was now for sale. One thing she said to me was “did you ever think that we’d be this age and broke?”. Of course my response was “NO”. I walked away from that conversation knowing I’d be talking to her about our financial fitness information. It seemed the time was right and I would no longer be her tenant.

Earlier this week she took her own life.

I can’t express the heartache I feel for not pushing myself beyond my comfort zone and showing her what life changing information Life Leadership has to offer.

Every thought in my head is consumed by trying to sort how I feel about this tragedy and where I can place this in my mind so it won’t be harmful.  Ben has reminded me of Chris Swanson who says no one could have helped her if that’s what she wanted to do.

Dan Hawkins has spoken of a friend he never contacted that ended up committing suicide……

I will carry this with me for a long time…..

God has shown me there IS a too late…

Thankfully God is allowing me to ponder on this carefully rather than just store it in the wrong place in my mind automatically.

I get emotional thinking about how God has been working in my life. I can see now that He’s had our family under his protection for quite some time. It’s as if he’s scooped us up and gently placed us aside from a desperate situation. I can’t imagine still living there and having to quickly find a place to live while explaining to my boys that the women they passed by and talked to on a regular basis that they thought was so nice, gave up hope in a better tomorrow. That her babies will no longer have their mom to tuck them in and kiss them goodnight. I’m reading all these incredible condolences and vibrant words people are using to describe who she was to them. I believe she was that beautiful inside, she just had a hard time believing in them herself. It makes me think how all of us have been that light of hope or glimpse of sunshine for others at different times in our lives. We probably don’t even know the impact we’ve truly had on others in their times of despair. I know there have been countless times when someone smiled or just said a comforting word that made me feel like I was important and truly made a difference in my life. I’m reading a fantastic book called “Self Talk Soul Talk” by Jennifer Rothschild. I believe I’ve been reading this book in preparation for this exact moment in my life. The words we tell ourselves are so extremely powerful. Are the words we are speaking into our souls measurable to God’s truth? Or are they mere lies we need to learn to tune out? The wrong words can sound a lot like a roaring lion or constant traffic and construction noise. But do you know those sounds become tolerable and you can even learn to tune them out over time? What words are we speaking to our souls? What things have we stored inside our minds that are continuously hurting us? It’s our job to place new labels on those thoughts. It’s time we let God speak those beautiful words of truth into our souls and it’s time we start to believe those words are true. This book along with many others and audios I believe have helped me mentally prepare for moments like this. I can’t place value on that. My heart is broken for the beautiful babies she left behind.

On the obituary they have suggested people donate to a trust fund for her kids. Ben and I have decided to put them on our list of charities as soon as we are able.

Please remind yourself today that if you have HOPE, you can conquer anything!!

Please learn from my experience and don’t be afraid to reach out to someone you know this information could help!! ‎I choose to see this as an opportunity to grow and have my eyes opened to reach out to all who can use this information and all who need this information. Thanks for listening.

Lots of love,

Krista

None of us know what will happen next week, or even tomorrow!  What if today was your last day on earth?  Have you accomplished your purpose?  There are no do-overs.  This life is not a dressed rehearsal.  Let’s make today count…what are you waiting for?  Please leave a comment if Krista’s experience has impacted you.

God Bless;

John

Advertisements
Posted in Faith, Following, Freedom, Leadership | 3 Comments